Thursday, December 30, 2010

Best of Reading

In college, I had two really hard professors in political science, and I revered both of them. One of them, George Thomas, taught me constitutional politics and always really challenged me. I remember him telling me that his favorite book of all time is The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky, and that he would reread it over each holiday break. I have no idea why, almost 10 years later, that I would finally pick up that book (for the 3rd time) on my honeymoon and bring it home, and then decide to try to read it on my own (almost non-existent) holiday break. (I can barely pronounce Karamazov or Dostoevsky - but at least it seems en vogue to refer to the book as "The Brothers K.")

I started reading it, and I'm still reading it, and I will be reading it for a long time. I have finally gotten used to the Russian names and nicknames, but I still don't feel like I get lost in the book yet (which is the point of reading during holiday vacation, at least to me, but this may be why I'm not a constitutional politics professor). I am trying to read more classics, and I think I succeeded at that this year, but I am also trying to make sure I read a book a week, and that was not happening with TBK (even shorter and easier to say!).

What's a reader to do?

I picked up another book that I wanted to read during Christmas break, The Instructions by Adam Levine. Instead of being over 700 pages like TBK, it's over 1,000. And the writing is being compared to David Foster Wallace. Umm, it's also not an easy read, but I've at least found myself lost in the Apatakisic world.

My current reading material reminds me of the summer I spend reading Infinite Jest. It was WORK. And in the end, it was worth it. I've never read such accurate depictions of depression and addiction, and that really hit home. In the forward of the version I read, Dave Eggers talks about how sometimes a reader needs to work and put in time and effort:
"And yet the time spent in this book, in this world of language, is absolutely rewarded. When you exit these pages after that month of reading, you are a better person. It’s insane, but also hard to deny. Your brain is stronger because it’s been given a month-long workout, and more importantly, your heart is sturdier, for there has scarcely been written a more moving account of desperation, depression, addiction, generational stasis and yearning, or the obsession with human expectations, with artistic and athletic and intellectual possibility. The themes here are big, and the emotions (guarded as they are) are very real, and the cumulative effect of the book is, you could say, seismic. It would be very unlikely that you would find a reader who, after finishing the book, would shrug and say, 'Eh.'"

I guess my subconscious is agreeing that I need to do the same, hence TBK and the Instructions.

Grant is also struggling to get through a book right now, so we established a reading night. This may be the best part of marriage yet! Wednesday night is book night, which means I read a cool 100 pages yesterday, exercised my mind, got myself sufficiently sleepy, and had a really good night's sleep.

I wonder how well I'd sleep if I'd exercise physically, too? Eh, let's talk about that later - NEXT YEAR. (Get it?)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Best of Conversations

Grant picks me up from work.

C: Hi, George!

G: Hi, Fred!

C: Who's Fred?

G: If you call me George, then I'll call you Fred.

C: It's just like Harry Potter!

G: I don't know who you're talking about.

C: You know, the Percy twins, Fred and George...

G: You've still lost me.

C: Okay, remember Harry's best friend, Ron Weasley? They're his twin brothers.

G: The REDHEADS?! They are not my people.

C: STOP IT! YOU SOUND EXACTLY LIKE DRACO MALFOY!

G: Whoa. You are a little too into Harry Potter.

(If only he really knew - just a few weeks you guys!!!)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Best of Babies

Tonight, Baby Abey and [somewhat] Baby Henry met each other for the first time. They were both very cautious, touched noses once, and then we all learned something very primitive. When Babe-ra-ham was eating a sucker (with the wrapper on), and not sharing with Henry, Henry cried. When Henry was eating Abraham's leftover dinner, and not sharing with Abey, Abey cried. And then they lost interest in each other. I think it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Best of Courage

This is the kind of mom I want to be - both she and her son, even at a young age, have amazing courage.

Best line: "If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off."

Second best: "If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one."

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Best of Wants

Last year during November, I wrote a novel. I participated in National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, and ended up writing over 50,000 words. I started because Brigette asked me to do it with her, and after the first day of trying to write 1,667 words, I wanted to quit. I remember lying in bed with Grant, freaking out, and asking him how I could tell Brigette I wasn't going to do it. I didn't think I could do it, I believed that everything I had written was awful, but I felt like I should do it, because I told her I would. So much of my internal debates are made of these two components: can't and should. We can all thank my counselor that I can recognize it now. When I talked to Grant about NaNoWriMo, he gave me the biggest pep talk ever, that I could do it. And everyday I spent my time at my computer, listening to the Avett Brothers, writing as much as I could. When I was in the bedroom with my laptop and headphones in my ears, everyone knew not to interrupt me. The whole point of NaNoWriMo is to find a way to silence your inner editor, the one who tells you that you shouldn't waste your time, that you can't do it, that you are writing a bunch of shit. And I wrote a bunch of shit. But I kept going, without deleting, day after day. At the end of November, I ended up with 120 pages of writing. Probably only five pages is really good, but that part is REALLY GOOD. And even my inner editor knows it. Sometime I will take it and try to make it a short story, or build on it for a book. Maybe this is why some of my favorite authors go years between their books?

Last year, I felt like I couldn't do it. This year, I feel guilty that I'm not participating, that I SHOULD be if I really want to write. I just wasn't up for it this November. I don't think our new marriage needs the added stress, and I don't think that I need it, either. But I still feel guilty. I go back and forth with guilt (should) and doubt (can't) all the time. I'm working on it, and one of the ways I'm trying is to only do what I want to do for a week. If I don't want to work out, I don't. If I don't want to do laundry, I don't. There are still glimpses of guilt - the gym part and what I eat particularly. One of the blogs I read had a post today that really captures this and confronts shame, and it's why I love the internet. I thought I was the only one who felt this way, but read this, and the comments, and maybe you do, too? See, we're not alone.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Best of Wednesday

At least it's not Tuesday. Man, that sucked.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Best of Tuesdays

One month ago today, I was married. I hadn't thought of the significance of the date, since there's another big event today, but grinned when I saw the text from Chilton wishing me a Happy One Month. Then I stole her idea and sent it to Grant. We made it one month! Hot Dog!*

And... it's Election Day. I voted (and got my very specific "I voted in Arlington" sticker) this morning after walking Henry. The office has been slooooooow, so it feels like Election Day, even though I'm not campaigning. When I got nervous about my wedding day, Bidisha reminded me that a wedding day would be like an election. You do all of the work beforehand, and then if you're doing it right, the actual day would be boring. You just have to let go, I guess. And man is it boring. The waiting makes everything last even longer (this day feels like 3 days at least).

It dawned on me last night what fall is usually like for me - during the last cycle in 2008 I spent most of September and October knocking doors and helping my candidates when I wasn't at work. I remember doing GOTV with my grandmother and seeing the prettiest orange tree and wondering when summer had ended. I'm glad I'm getting to enjoy fall this year.

Tonight is also my night to myself - Grant has his class, so I want to go home, work out, read, and perhaps cook and put together some bookshelves. And maybe watch as many election results as I can stand.

*I worked that in just so I could also post this picture.