Best of Calcium

I live in DC now (but with no job or apartment, so if you want to give me one of those, I'm there!). Here, to cope with the economy, people steal milk. From Starbucks. I've seen it three specific times, with two individuals. They order their coffee, drink it, and then go to the milk station and fill up the entire empty coffee cup with milk and drink it down. A dude IN A SUIT did it TWICE in front of me, even after I loudly referred to him as the Milk Guy. I hope it is not as bad for you where ever you are. And let's all keep our fingers crossed that I find a job, and it doesn't get that bad for me.

What if the skim milk carafe were empty? Do you drink the half and half?

Best of Questions

While watching trashy TV tonight (but not the trashy TV we wanted to watch tonight - 90210 and Privileged), an ad for Ask.com appeared. A couple in their RV were talking about the difference between white and brown eggs, and they find out the answer by asking Ask.com, "What is the difference between white and brown eggs?"

I tell Whitters that I think Ask.com is Google for older people. Like parents or grandparents who don't understand that you don't actually have to type the "What is..." "How do..." etc. into a search engine to find the answer to your question.

Whitters goes to Ask.com, and as soon as she types in "What is," the following four questions pop up, presumably as the most asked:

"What is the meaning of life?"
"What is true love?"
"What is love?"
"What is the Jonas Brothers' Address?"

Indeed. If Ask.com actually provides real answers to any of the above questions, I'll use it everyday of my life.

Best of Spam

When I used to share an office with Jessa, and then Micah, I'd always ask them "What time is it??" Depending on the day, they would answer "New Music Tuesday!" "Horoscopes" "Peanut Butter Jelly Time*" or "Time to read interesting/dirty spam out loud." We probably should have worked on the name for that last one.

Anyway, if I weren't the last one still employed here, I'd read them this out loud today:

"The ideal age for pregnancy is 27. How old are you?"

Thanks, spam. Thanks a lot. Like I needed a deadline from you.

(*Only Jessa ate peanut butter and jelly every single day like clockwork. But we all sang the song!)

Best of Confessions

This is hard to write about, but you probably need to know. I like to cook, and I cook most everything I see on smittenkitchen. I also use the term "YUM-O" to ironically describe food, since I'm the opposite of an RR fan. She says EVOO (just say Olive Oil like the rest of the world - it has half as many syllables), she carries all her ingredients at once (instead of making two trips), she has a GARBAGE BOWL (why not just throw it in, I don't know, the GARBAGE), and she's annoying.

But.

Last week, I made a recipe off smitten. Here's the confession - it was actually Racheal Ray's. And I liked it.

I'm still not a fan, I know I'll get shit for this, but at least I hated the name of the dish even if I liked the taste: You Won't Be Single For Long Vodka Cream Pasta.

Best of Perspective

On this day last year, I was a girl with a broken heart. Not anymore. I'm not saying everything gets better, but, thank God, everything changes. At least it doesn't stay the same. A year ago today, I slept alone in my bed in Norman, tears streaming down my face, without the courage to even tell my best friend the details of the heart-breaking.

Tonight, I just had a wonderful conversation with my best friend, and I'm not sleeping alone.

Best of Advice

This is one of the blogs I look forward to reading each day, because it only takes a minute, and the rules are very insightful. I just don't want it to end at 1,001.

Related: my dad might be Irish, because he always leaves family functions with what is apparently termed as an "Irish goodbye," except not with the intoxication part. Just the no goodbye part.

Best of Pick Up Lines

Holy crap! I forgot to tell you about one of the first things that happened on the Vegas trip. Grant and I made it to the airport on time, even after having lunch and having to turn around to go get a swimsuit that SOMEONE forgot to pack (it wasn't me). We got checked in, got seats together, and headed to security.

I walked through, it beeped, and I realized that I needed to take off my earrings. The TSA guy told me as much, so I went back through the magnetometer, put my earrings in a bowl and on the conveyor belt, and went back through. Success! The guy is still holding on to my boarding pass and giving me a look, so I'm wondering what the problem is. He starts to hand it to me, just out of my reach and says, "This is the point in the conversation when I tell you that you didn't set the machine off, but you still look alarming."

I shit you not.

Grant got to hear about it the entire time we spent at the bar while our flight was delayed. He better not act up, because now... well, now I have a back up, and I know right where to find him.

Best of Fall

Oh, THANK GOD, it's here. Right? Yesterday, Grant and I drove to Vinita to spend the day with Dad and V.V. on her birthday. We had a great and low-key day, but when we were driving home, we got lost. Only we didn't really get lost, we just thought we were, so we turned around for no reason, and just lost time. We were so ready to get home. I drove, and we were on the turnpike when my car suddenly sounded like it had been on Pimp My Ride to get glass packs. Or pipes. Or whatever the hell. We made the decision to just keep driving and crossed our fingers and wished on one-headlights to make sure we made it home. We did.

I took the car in today to the Muffler shop in town, and just hoped that it would not take away all my trip money for Vegas -- we leave in 3 days. When they called me to give me the verdict, the woman told me that something happened to my converter, and that he would have to weld it back. She wanted to know if they should go ahead and work on it, and I asked the dreaded question: "How much would it cost?"

FORTY-FIVE DOLLARS.

Fall, I have waited for you so long. You are my favorite season, and we always have such a good time together. This just is more proof of your love. During the Spring, my car cost $1200 to fix, and during the Summer, it required a $300 follow-up. But I'll take 45 and Autumn ANY. DAY.

It's my favorite season. Fave. Fave. FAVE! And I got the coolest postcard IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Because of all this, it didn't hurt so much when we got pulled over in my car tonight -- not for speeding, not for rolling a stop sign -- but for having one headlight. Hey Oklahoma, you're welcome for all the wishes I've been giving you, but now I've gotta go get it fixed.

Best of Today

So true. I'm glad I've been financially irresponsible enough to not have a mutual fund or stocks. Also, if you aren't sending someecards to show off your wit to your friends, I just have to ask you: why?

In other news, in scrabulous today, I got a bingo for this word: ROVINGS. Yup, big news in the life of Court.

Best of Relief

Last week, and I twittered about this, I attempted to do something that really really really terrified me. I am afraid to do new things, I think in part because of my perfectionism -- if I can't do it perfectly on the first try then why even do it? -- but also because I don't want to be judged. The content of that last sentence is a post or a book itself.

What was so terrifying?

A class at my gym. Sounds ridiculous, but I could not bring myself to try. Yesterday was my one-year anniversary of "dating JIM," and I think that realizing that the one-year mark was coming up, and I hadn't toughened up enough yet to try a class got to me. DBAP, Court, DBAP. I decided to go to the Body Sculpt class, because it sounded the most innocent. And I wouldn't have to look coordinated. THANK GOD, I wasn't the only newbie, so Jenny and I sat in the back. I made a new friend, and I'm trying new things, and I'm so proud about it you'd think that I was in kindergarten. Except I use terms like DBAP.

Half way through Body Sculpt, when my body was definitely feeling the burn, Jenny turns to me and asks me if I'm staying for Kickboxing - because she is. I was NOT planning on staying for kickboxing, and the inner me was having a huge debate: YES, NO, YES, NO, YES, NO and my voice chose YES. Partially because I did not want to BAP in front of my new friend.

I'm so so so so so glad I did. Kickboxing is amazing. I beat the shit out of a huge bag for an hour while listening to loud music with really cool girls. Somehow, they aren't judgey at all, they are just nice, but they could also kick your ass. Soon, I will be able to kick your ass (and that statement also goes out to my current Best of Asshole in Indiana - watch. your. self.). I have a great time, I'm learning fast, and I want green gloves. I'm not the best at anything on my left side (shit, I probably shouldn't have revealed that weakness), and especially when I don't even know which side is actually my left side, but when I get my green gloves, Grant is going to put a big L and R on them respectively. The best thing about the class, though, is that when I leave, I'm in the best mood ever.

I'm pretty badass.

In other news, I'm really not coordinated, and I'm not doing as swimmingly in the Zumba class, where we do Latin dance - YET. Shakira best step off, son.

Best of Karma

We have a parking lot next to our building where we pay for 5 spots. I am the only person who regularly comes in everyday, so those other spots are sporadically empty, and I think that tempts people. One spot, in particular, is right by the alley, and people who shouldn't park there LOVE to park there. When I see this happen, I'm supposed to call our parking people and have them towed.

There's a car there today, but I'm not calling, because their window is rolled all the way down, it's raining in Tulsa, and they've got enough problems to deal with already. Right?

Best of Things I Would Rather Be Doing

Eating fish tacos at Chica's.

Best of Days

GET EXCITED! IT'S WHITTERS' BIRTHDAY!

While I'm in Oklahoma, trying to get caught up on sleep, my best friend is celebrating her 24th birthday by knocking doors in Indiana for Obama. Maybe not exactly how she thought she'd mark the day of her birth, but she's making a difference, like always. Whitney Marie Denton, I miss you like crazy! I wish you had been in Denver, getting to watch the shows (both the convention and the other one) and seeing firsthand what all your hard work is about. Thank you for letting me call you at crazy hours to tell you about my adventures during this week every August.

I wish you were here to party it up for Whit-A-Palooza, but we'll just do that in November (when we'll have TWO great things to celebrate).

Love you!

Best of Quotes

I read a daily quote from Levenger almost everyday.

Today, I read it several times, and EVERY TIME, the first time I read it, I saw this:

"All serious dating starts from within."

It actually says this:

"All serious daring starts from within."

What does that say about me?

(First quote, courtesy of my strange mind. Second quote, courtesy of Eudora Welty.)

Best of Getting the Hell Outta Dodge

After recent events, we're ready for vacation. In less than two weeks, we're headed to Denver, Colorado, with a million other Democrats for the National Convention. Grant was able to take off work, and we got cheap flights, so we're going to be there for the nominating speech. So so so excited! The weather should be cooler, we're going to be hanging out with progressives (most of them, anyway), and (how should I put this delicately?) it's not Oklahoma. We'll be in the mile high city (HELLO mile high club!) from Sunday through Friday. Activities planned so far include partying, going to a free day at the Denver Art Museum, listening to speeches, going to a Sex, Politics and Cocktails party, seeing friends in the area and going to see Michelle Obama and Speaker Pelosi at "gala reception." And I also have to work.

The more exciting trip is exactly a month later, when Grant and I will leave for Vegas for his birthday! It was a surprise trip for about a day after I purchased the tickets, but I couldn't take it anymore. I told him Friday night before things got crazy. We're staying at Treasure Island (or TI if you are hip - I'm not), and I'm ready to eat, drink, laze about, gamble, lounge by the pool, and really celebrate with Grant - everything you are supposed to do in Sin City. We're going for three nights, which is really not that long, but seeing as there is something going on in November (and all the other politicos take the Vegas trip AFTER the elections), it'll have to do. I'm probably leaving the laptop (and all connections to work) at home.

Thank goodness for escapes.

I guess it's about time for an update.

I know there's no "Best of" in that title, but I'm breaking with that habit for this post. Because there's no "best" in what happened on Friday, except for what happened after. You'll understand in a second. After our harrowing experience, Grant and I have spent the weekend just lazing about our house with Henry, alternating between watching Olympics and Weeds in the living room and bedroom.

Friday, 8/8/08, was our 9 month anniversary. I had an amusing post planned to commemorate it -- was gonna write it yesterday -- about how we could have had a baby by now if we had had sex on the first date. (Some of you know just how possible that situation could have been :) Instead, I'm writing this.

We went to an expensive dinner at the Chalkboard on Friday night, getting all dressed up and taking pictures with our new cameras. We shared a bottle of wine, ate a lot of food, and then decided to go home to watch the Olympics opening ceremony and maybe celebrate a bit, if you know what I mean. The only reason I mention it was an expensive dinner is because after we ate, I got all stressed out and worried about how much we had spent on one night. I worry a lot -- too much -- about money. All the time. We got in my car to go home, and Grant asked me what was wrong. I didn't want to tell him I was worried about money AGAIN, so I said nothing, and was kind of silent for the first part of the ride home. He knew something was wrong, and offered to drive, but I told him I was fine. We weren't even listening to the radio. When we got on the highway, we were both silent, and I was mad at myself for being worried and mad at Grant for not understanding.

He slammed himself into the passenger side window and then back in his seat. I thought he was acting mad, which made me more mad. It was dark, but I looked over, and his entire body was convulsing. At this point, I started screaming at him "GRANT! GRANT! JESUS CHRIST, GRANT ANSWER ME!" He didn't respond at all. His hands were contracted and pulled into his body, every muscle seems to be spasming, his eyes were rolled back into his head, and he was unconscious. I made sure he was still breathing, and I think I checked to make sure he had a clear airway, but I was terrified that he was dying and I didn't know what to do. I fought with his convulsing legs -- while driving -- to get to my purse at his feet and get my phone. I tried calling my mom on her cell, and then got her at home, and just said, "Momma, Grant is having a seizure in the car and I'm driving and I don't know what to do and I don't know where the nearest hospital is and HE WON'T ANSWER ME and he won't stop..." There was lots of crying, lots of "I can't do this!" and probably some "FUCK"s as well. My mom is a saint.

She told me to keep driving (we were almost to Sapulpa at this point, and I knew I could find the hospital), asked if he was breathing, and said she'd call his parents so they'd meet us at the emergency room. I tried calling his mom's cell phone, but no answer, so I called her back, and she hadn't gotten a hold of them either. I tried calling Whit, so she could call her parents or her aunt and uncle, but no answer. I don't think I've ever felt so helpless. I was crying and screaming, and staying as calm as I could while watching someone I love so very much seize in the seat next to me.

Grant spoke. I started asking him what had happened. He didn't know who I was. I started crying harder. I asked him if he knew his name. He said "Grant." I asked him the year (2008), I asked him if he had a girlfriend (yes), I asked him her name (Court), and he said he knew who I was. We were in Sapulpa. I asked him for his parent's phone number; he didn't know it. I asked him if he remembered anything; he said he remembered dinner and offering to drive. Thank God I didn't let him. He thought I was acting crazy. I told him he had had a seizure and that I was driving him to the hospital. He was so pale and confused. My phone rang, and "Grant Thompson" showed up on my screen. I thought he was joking with me and calling me, so I was confused, but when I answered, it was his dad and they were on their way. (I still had their home number programmed in my phone under Grant.) My mom was able to get through to them, and they met us at the hospital a few minutes after we arrived.

I had to tell the nurses what had happened because Grant still doesn't remember a thing. He threw up, and they put him in a room for a few hours to make sure he didn't seize again. They asked him about medications, about being in the hot weather, about doing anything out of the ordinary. He was less confused by this point, and I recited all his meds and habits and told three different people what had happened. After not being able to find his vein, he finally got his blood work done. Rich, his super nice doc, ordered a cat scan to make sure he had no blood on his brain. Suddenly, I remembered a new medication that his doctor had prescribed a few weeks ago. Grant had only taken it once, and it made him feel watery-headed and punch drunk, so he didn't take it anymore. Until Friday morning, because he had an appointment with that doctor. That medication causes seizures in my boyfriend. When everything came back normal, Rich agreed it was the medicine. We were relieved it wasn't something worse.

We came home and crawled into bed. We spent the entire next day together.

I'm especially clingy and like to just touch him to make sure he's still there.

I still haven't let go of what happened, and I'm carrying it around with me. Go hug and kiss whoever you love RIGHT NOW.

Best of the Best News!

I have been working hard on fixing so much of my life, and man has it paid off the past two days! I've been fighting to get healthier physically, financially and emotionally for almost a year, and I knew it wouldn't happen overnight. I didn't expect it to all happen in the same day, though!

1) I got a bonus at work. One that I was promised almost a year ago, but I finally got it!
2) I subsequently paid off all my credit cards last night. WOO. HOO. I feel so responsible and relieved.
3) I finally got the original appraisal for a piece of jewelry I am interested in selling.
4) After the medical problems and treatment I had earlier this year, I went to the doctor again to see if all the precancerous cells were gone, and I found out a few minutes ago that my test came back NORMAL.

Let the (financially responsible) celebrating begin!

Best of Truthiness

I feel the exact same way about "I don't disagree." Oh, you don't disagree? Then just say you agree. It's not that hard.

Best of Things Left in Pockets and Discovered Too Late in the Dryer

1) Change. This one is fun, though, when I do the laundry, because I take it ALL and put it in my change bank.
2) Bad quality paper towels. These tear apart in the washer like Kleenex, and little bits stick to every piece of clothing.
3) Kleenex.
4) Good quality paper towels (VIVA). These amaze me, and they act like cloth by not falling apart.
5) Cut up pieces of straw (Grant chews on them).
6) Whit's passport.
7) Gum.

Best of Simple Motivation

Today is Primary Day in Oklahoma (Q: Do only political nerds say "Happy Primary Day!" to fellow politicos in text messages? A: Yes.), and I am proudly displaying my participation.


I live for these stickers on Election Day, because I like the written sticky proof that I am involved in our democracy. Just another incentive to vote, because I have PROOF that I did so.

I thought about the stickers this morning, and I think more entities should use them. Maybe it's another form of the gold star system from Kindergarten, but I would like to see these stickers available to me.

From the gym: "I worked out!"
From my house: "I made my bed today!"
From my bank: "My account is not overdrawn!"
From my credit cards: "I paid my bill on time!"
From my job: "I'm a hard worker!"

I would be so much more responsible if there were stickers involved.