Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Best of the IRS

Like everyone else, I was excited about my own stimulus check (yay $600 free dollars!) even though I don't think it will be very stimulating to the economy. Here's an example of my bad luck. They send them out based on the last two digits of your social security number. What's yours? Mine is "99." Seriously. I get mine in the last batch. Gah, this should be like getting in line in elementary school, when sometimes your teacher would let you line up in reverse alphabetical order. This Ruark finally got to be towards the front! So, IRS, if we do this stimulus again (hopefully Obama will win, and we won't), make sure you do reverse numerical order. Thanks.

I was supposed to get my check around this time in July. On Saturday, I got an envelope in my mailbox from the IRS that said "Stimulus Information - IMPORTANT - Do NOT Throw Away." Would you think that was a check? I did. I opened it, and no check. They sent me a LETTER to let me know that my check should come in the next week. But not to call or write for 6 weeks if I don't get it. What?

Our brilliant government just spent millions of dollars mailing pre-letters to all tax-payers. That's so dumb. I'd rather them forgo my "hey, you think this is a check, but really it is a letter to tell you what you already know about your check" correspondence, and just add $0.42 to my payment. I promise I'd spend it better.

I was going to use mine to pay down on debt (not what I'm supposed to do, but it's mine, so I will not be stimulating anything with it, so suck it), but then, did you hear? I have a crazy expensive medical bill that it will be going towards ("towards," because it won't completely cover it). There's irony there. I'm getting money from the government to cover something that I think the government should cover for me anyway. Stimulate that.

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