Best of Relief

Last week, and I twittered about this, I attempted to do something that really really really terrified me. I am afraid to do new things, I think in part because of my perfectionism -- if I can't do it perfectly on the first try then why even do it? -- but also because I don't want to be judged. The content of that last sentence is a post or a book itself.

What was so terrifying?

A class at my gym. Sounds ridiculous, but I could not bring myself to try. Yesterday was my one-year anniversary of "dating JIM," and I think that realizing that the one-year mark was coming up, and I hadn't toughened up enough yet to try a class got to me. DBAP, Court, DBAP. I decided to go to the Body Sculpt class, because it sounded the most innocent. And I wouldn't have to look coordinated. THANK GOD, I wasn't the only newbie, so Jenny and I sat in the back. I made a new friend, and I'm trying new things, and I'm so proud about it you'd think that I was in kindergarten. Except I use terms like DBAP.

Half way through Body Sculpt, when my body was definitely feeling the burn, Jenny turns to me and asks me if I'm staying for Kickboxing - because she is. I was NOT planning on staying for kickboxing, and the inner me was having a huge debate: YES, NO, YES, NO, YES, NO and my voice chose YES. Partially because I did not want to BAP in front of my new friend.

I'm so so so so so glad I did. Kickboxing is amazing. I beat the shit out of a huge bag for an hour while listening to loud music with really cool girls. Somehow, they aren't judgey at all, they are just nice, but they could also kick your ass. Soon, I will be able to kick your ass (and that statement also goes out to my current Best of Asshole in Indiana - watch. your. self.). I have a great time, I'm learning fast, and I want green gloves. I'm not the best at anything on my left side (shit, I probably shouldn't have revealed that weakness), and especially when I don't even know which side is actually my left side, but when I get my green gloves, Grant is going to put a big L and R on them respectively. The best thing about the class, though, is that when I leave, I'm in the best mood ever.

I'm pretty badass.

In other news, I'm really not coordinated, and I'm not doing as swimmingly in the Zumba class, where we do Latin dance - YET. Shakira best step off, son.

Best of Things I Used to Do and I Wish I Still Did Them

1) Work out. I need to get back in the habit, and I'm thinking about joining a gym in Sapulpa, because I'm only in Tulsa two days a week. I HATE gym contracts and debited accounts (remember that time I paid $37 a month for two years?). My gym in Tulsa, who I affectionately and creatively call "Jim", is amazing. Ladies only, TVs with every piece of equipment, and NO CONTRACTS. Regardless, I need to find a way to get my aggression out again. I haven't gained any weight that I lost, but I am missing the healthy and happy feeling I get after exercise, both physically and emotionally.

2) New Music Tuesday! I used to ask Jessa and then Micah "What day is it?!?!?" every Tuesday. The obvious answer: "New Music Tuesday" on iTunes. (Gah, who wouldn't want to share an office with me?) I would browse all the new music and load up my iPod (which would then accompany me to see Jim, see #1). Then the real world sunk in, and because it was attached to my credit card, and I bought one too many songs, I went over my credit limit and jumped up my interest. For a 99 cent song. Sometimes I love being a grownup. Anyway, I need to get back to treating myself with one or two songs (and exercising discipline to only buy that amount) each week. I miss the music.

3) Read. Since I've been back from Turkey, where I read 4 books (because what else was I going to do?), I haven't finished a book. I've been playing catch up with my two jobs, one of which is only getting busier, and time at home is spent cooking dinner, cleaning, talking, working, but not reading. Anyone have any suggestions for a book to get me out of this rut? I need one I can't put down.

4) Spend time alone. Whitters thankfully understood how much I needed this today, and got everyone out of the house. I read Real Simple, gave myself a pedicure, and just had some time to think.

My life is FULL. Full of work, full of love, full of puppies & roommates & cooking & family & plants. Life is good, but I want to make some room in the fullness of it for the important (and lately missing) items above.