Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Best of Henry

How could I leave you for so long with just a link to an internet phenomenon? Writer's block? You'd think I'd have time to come up with something to write since I am STILL. UN. EMPLOYED. But I haven't, so when I found this little gem in Henry's planner next to his red with light blue polka dots bed, I had to post it.

DAILY SCHEDULE (Updated for DC Life)
5:30 am - Wake up.
5:37 am - Find squeaky toy.
5:38 am - Wake up mom with aforementioned squeaky toy. I NEED TO PEEEEEEEEE!
5:45 am - Go outside with mom. Don't really need to pee, but love to smell that morning air. It's a NEW DAY EVERYBODY! I LOVE IT! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE MORNINGS! I LOVE WALKS! LET'S GO WALK! LET'S PEE ON STUFF! WALK WALK WALK WALK WALK!!!!! OUTSIDE! WALK! Maybe poop.
6:15 am - Get back from walk. Look for toys to play with in the house.
6:20 am - Realize no one wants to play, go back to bed with mom.
7:00-8:30 am - Sleep, unless someone is in the kitchen. Beg for food, specifically leftover cereal milk. Stare down person who won't give it to me.
8:45 am - Go to sleep in mama's bed - she sleeps in when everyone gets up because she still has no J-O-B.
8:45 am - 9:30/10:00 am - Cuddle, get belly rubbed.
10:00 am - 12:00 pm - Sleep on my couch.
12:15 pm - Beg for lunch leftovers.
12:30 pm - 3:00 pm - Sleep on the floor.
3:00 pm - 6:00 pm - Sleep on the couch.
6:30 pm - Get excited that someone is about to come home! Sleep by the door.
6:45 pm - Get belly rubbed.
7:30 pm - Get dog food. Don't eat it; instead beg for human food. When all human food has been exhausted, eat my own shitty food.
8:00 pm - Drink entire gallon of water.
8:03 pm - NEED TO GO OUTSIDE!!
8:05 pm - Pee and play outside with my FRIENDS! I LOVE MY FRIENDS! Try to hump one. Jump in mud. Get in trouble. Go back inside.
8:30 pm - Sleep on floor. Don't go to bed in case roommates eat snacks.
11:00 pm - Sleepily walk to my own bed.